The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman, February 2019 reflection.
Photo by gabriel_matula on Unsplash
This morning, I watched a video clip of a couple fighting over something. The man was shouting angrily at the woman. When the audio turned clear, he was shouting at her because instead of buying him his medicine, she bought many other things which seemed to be quite unnecessary. The video ended with a man still in rage.
Imagine yourself being shouted at by your parents, partner, teacher or manager for whatever justifiable reason. Raising your voice as a form of defense will surely result to more issues and misunderstanding- hurtful words, break-ups, trust issues. Instead of reacting in a confrontation like this, retain your composure and evaluate.
Leaning on anger does not resolve a problem. It might even make the problem worse. And when it gets worse, you get upset, the other person gets upset and everybody gets upset. But the issue remains unsolved.
Look. Some athletes talk trash their opponents to incite reaction. Making them distracted and derailing their focus. Hence, making them an easy target for knock-out. It is important to not bite the bait of your emotional outbursts and to quickly shutdown all of the signalled provocation. If you easily give in, your defeat will be certained.
Anger is not impressive or powerful or a resolve when what we want is not granted, when what we need is overlooked, when our position and opinion are questioned, when we need to repeat ourselves multiple times because the person we are speaking with is not attentively listening – it is perhaps a mistake, a damaging mistake.
Manage and mitigate the triggers of your anger that are constantly tripped.
Remember, peace of mind does not come from the outside, it comes from the inside.